Like many healers, therapists, and coaches - going through my own struggles, and eventually overcoming them, was what lit a fire in me to become a transformational self-worth coach. I wanted to help other women, avoid or heal from, what I went through while working in corporate tech.

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Through my 13 year career, I landed my "dream jobs" at the top billion dollar media and streaming companies. 

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In my first few years working in tech, everthing looked great from the outside. On paper - I was educated, young but with experience, I was hitting all my goals, and I continued to move up in my career.  

 

On the inside... well let's just say I was a hot mess - I was exhausted, feeling angry, frustrated, and misunderstood.  

 

I was internalizing your standard 1st gen. trauma, perpetuated through systemic oppression and nepotism, manifesting as imposter phenomenon, and I had an "on again/off again" relationship with burnout: overwhelm, anxiety, shame, depression. NBD.

 

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I was raised to believe that if I worked HARDER I would succeed. I would be seen, appreciated, and eventually rewarded. At least that's what my papi told me.  

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But once I got inside, it wasn't what I expected. I was usually 1 of 2 women in an office...and almost always the only Latina. 

 

I tried to shrug off race and gender micro-aggressions at work as misunderstandings on my part:

"Did they just say that? I must have misunderstood them..." They always assured me they "were just joking!"  

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Top all that off with a fun case of perfectionism and FREEZING when confronted with conflict, my confidence started to plummet. 
 

As smart as I was, I was totally unaware that my unresolved trauma was not letting me perform at my best! I had NO IDEA how to regulate my nervous system and I literally did not feel safe at times 

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I was still operating from a place of SURVIVAL and since I didn't feel safe a lot of time, my body was naturally doing what it knew how to do. Survive: Fight, Flee, Freeze, and Fawn.

 

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Back then, I was young and I could handle the stress my body was under, but I was 100% in a burnout cycle.

 

I was trying to manage the insane pace, deadlines, and workload.

My body never felt like it got good rest.

Some days my ADHD brain would just stop processing the tidal wave of data and I felt like a machine shutting down.

 

Back then, it wasn't "cool" to share that you were neurodivergant or on the spectrum.

#MeToo hadn't happened yet and no one gave a crap about "rights" in the corporate world of entertainment. Saying something meant you didn't get called back for more work.

 

This kind of work environment taught me how to ignore my body, it's needs, and my intuition.

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This went on for about 10 YEARS. I suppressed my needs and worked over time, many times unpaid, to "make it" in my career. 

 

Even though I managed to climb the corporate ladder and work at the best billion dollar streaming media companies in the world, I never felt truly accomplished or "successful" since I was pushing through one burnout cycle after another.  Success didn't feel good.  ​

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It wasn't until I realized that no one was going to save me or tell me how to do life "right". I just knew I needed a change and I couldn't keep doing the same things, living the same way. 

 

I finally asked for help and hired my first coach, Maxine of @bluestarguidance. Her specialty was helping creatives leave abusive and toxic work situations to follow their true passions. 

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It was the best money I've ever spent.... Was I scared? Did I put it on a payment plan? YES.

 

#noregrets 

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